a fine collection #2 -mara b

aight kids...here's my fine collection. and by fine collection i mean a few things that i decided to document that probably aren't even funny to begin with. 

but hey, life's short. live a little. lol a little.

christmas presents in the bensing household symbolize grace, elegance, and the true spirit of our lord and savior. keep it awkward.

 roadtrip hangman...definite stumper. my 12-year old sister took maybe 10 minutes to figure this one out. calling her a "speller" might be a bit of a long shot, but damnit can the slut keep me entertained.

what kind of guinness book of world records 

WOULDN'T document such an event? pound it, thailand.

hUm@n C3nTiP3dEz 4eVa <3

 CAROL. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, CAROL.

(bridesmaids quote. if you didn't know that was from bridesmaids, just leave now. after you stab me in the heart with a steak knife.)

sometimes a caption just isn't necessary.

:/

 las vegas shark reef simply never disappoints. i took this picture and thought 
"holy shit, what a photo! national geographic here i co---that's 
definitely a shark vagina."

in case you were unaware: revolting pictures that make you want to gauge your eyes out with a shrimp fork, in fact, do NOT make arousing images.

almost bought it..should have bought it..forever regret it..

asterisk convo #3

G: Haha apparentlyyy you're not supposed to "handle" my frog.

M: I don't understand why God made pets we can't "handle". I love "handling" my pets. We all do. Am I a bad person for wanting to "handle" every now and again? *presidential debate tone (i don't really know what that tone means :/)*

G: I hear you loud and clear! We WILL "handle"...so sue us *same mysterious presidential tone..i get it*

M: "Today, we will stand strong. Today, we will stand united. And today, WE. WILL. HANDLE." *i look out into the distance as a waving american flag fades in behind me and applause*

G: *(girl in audience) single tear falls down face as she embraces those words and whispers to herself* "I will handle. My god I'll handle." *makes eye contact with you and mouths "thank you" compassionately*

M: *camera changes to a door that says "president's dressing room". door opens and the girl scurries out, buttoning up her shirt and wiping her mouth. camera scans into the room where i lie on my bed satisfied* "God, I love my country.." *national anthem fades in as scene darkens to black. 'the end' is written across screen in cursive, like they do at the end of old black and white movies*

a fine collection #1 -gina b

Call me a collector. A collector of things seen on the news or on my facebook updates. I am like a little rock collector, but instead of rocks, I collect the little things people say. These are just a few of the things I have found recently and I thought I would share it with you all. I hope you enjoy the first issue of b^2's A Fine Collection.